Two Weeks as a Grown-Up

It's been 2 full weeks of me being an official grown-up at my real job (and not an internship). And I've learned some things.

1. People are much more self-aware about what they eat and consume than they are in college. Both the family I'm staying with and my coworkers freak out when they eat something 'unhealthy'. It's hard being new and yet wanting to eat 3 plates of bacon and fried chicken without them sending me funny looks.
2. Having ADHD sucks when you have 10-20 different projects going on.
3. There is no such thing as a good commute in Pennsylvania.
4. There is no such thing as a good driver in Pennsylvania. I have witnessed 3 accidents already and I don't even drive on the turnpike or any highways that get insane. Just Rt 113.
5. Having families adopt you is a nice way to start out living in a new place.
6. Finding a roommate in a random place in PA on Craigslist is very difficult. Especially when you're not allowed to live with boys and don't know anyone. 
7. Travelling for work will either get old very quickly or stay exciting. I think if i do that FourSquare thing, I could rack up points very quickly. Driving out to somewhere this Wed but they haven't told me specifically where.
8. I now understand cat ladies. Cats are the best company outside of best friends. 
9. Don't move and change your life when you are PMSing. Unless, of course, breaded chicken and sushi is promised. (Sorry boys for the insight. But it's important.)
10. Type A personalities are not my friend.

Tomorrow I'm checking out 2 churches and I'm really excited. One will be in the morning and another will be in the evening in West Chester (that Patty is convinced it's an awesome church that I'll love). I think it might be the highlight of my 2 weeks here (not the highlight of my month since I went on a road trip (: ). I'm very excited. 

Also, somehow today I'll have to be in Newark to pick up a computer desk and a coffee table. Not sure how that's gonna work since my dad wanted to take the truck up to the river. Hmm...

My life is crazy.

The past few weeks have been absolutely insane in my life.

Currently, I am sitting on a bed in my friend's family's house utterly exhausted after having moved in temporarily on Sunday. I will be living here until I can find an apartment and hopefully some roommates which hopefully will happen before August. I really, really want to find roommates. One thing I learned this past winter is that I should never live alone- I need company or I become depressed and crabby and sad and mute.

Before I moved in, I graduated; was in an accident the day after I graduated (my brother was driving, not me and we are fine but the car is totalled); went on an amazing, relaxing 6-day road trip with Michael (he still has my passport) all around New England and up into Canada the day after my accident; had my sister and brother-in-law from Ohio with the musically-gifted children visit; visited my grandparents; saw Michael and Kelsey play at the Queen in Wilmington and pretended I was in the Natrin family again by sitting with them (the littlest brother still hasn't talked to me, I'm very entertained); went to a family reunion; moved to Downingtown, PA into my friend's home; started a new, full-time entry-level job at SSC; learned how to use AutoCAD; and flew to Rhode Island to drive to Worcester, MA on my 3rd day of work for a site visit and flew back that same day (with a 2 hour flight delay coming home). And today I played with 3 cats (they love me more than my friend teehee) when I got home and talked to Poppa Townsend (I forget his name so living here is slightly awkward) while waiting for my friend to get home so we could go eat burgers at Cheeseburger in Paradise (they had karaoke tonight and my friend has no sense of humor or compassion). And now I am sitting on their guest bed which is my bed for now.

And that all happened since May 28.

I am very stressed and frazzled at work. They are very overworked, underpaid, and overstressed and I am tired. They told me after 3 months hopefully I'll be used to the workload and stress and busyness of the company. My commute is supposed to take 30 mins but PA roads are terrible and it takes me 55 minutes. I need to move north more towards work when I find an apt but my friends live south so I desperately am resisting that need.

I also need a new phone and my contract is up with Sprint so I'm debating going off of my family plan and going to Verizon but I don't know because going off the family plan is pricier. People tend to like Verizon though and Sprint has been failing me lately (although they are cheaper which is nice).

Basically, my life has completely changed. Monday, I checked on my tax form "independent" for the first time so I guess I am now a grown-up. Every day and night my prayer has been that God protects me and that I remember how much God is with me and loves me and will help me adjust to this region and new phase in my life. I don't think I could have gotten through this week starting my job without Him.

Anyhoo- this post unfortunately hasn't had much reflection in it. I've been in a sort of process-less mindset lately which doesn't make me comfortable at all. Usually I internally process things and then comprehend stuff but it's taking a lot longer to sink in so I sit here mindlessly as if I'm a zombie. I'm still trying to collect all my thoughts just about the trip before I tell everyone about it. But hopefully that will come soon!

Everyone else's lives though have been very insane lately too and I miss everyone and want to see people again some day to hear about their lives. My friend texted me how she got a job in NYC which is perfect for her but I forgot she was even looking; that makes me a terrible friend very focused on my life and not others and now I am sad and will stop talking about myself.

Yay- my brother bought a fancy VW GTI to replace his wrecked car and it's super nice and fancy with plaid seats. The outside is white and the inside is fancy with a Sirius radio and GPS and Bluetooth and technical car stuff.

Testimony and Themes and Whatnot

I just wrote out my testimony again. I haven't updated it in 3 years. So much has changed since then, especially within this past year so I figured it needed to be done. I wrote it out and am still writing and so far it's taking up over 9 pages in my journal.

There are basic themes though that keep getting repeated.
1. God prepares us for what is to come. It's almost ironic how much God has prepared me to go through some of the situations I have faced.
2. Friendships/any type of relationship (parent-to-child, coworker, mentor/mentee, friends, bf/gf, etc) should never be idolized. While God said, "It is not good for man to be alone," first and foremost our focus must be on God. When our focus leaves God, that's when problems occur. I've lost many friends by losing focus and thinking that I know best. I've idolized friends and I've been through bouts of loneliness. Having no friends (or not trusting anyone to be a friend) is just as bad as idolizing a relationship.
3. Letting go of painful situations is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Learning to forgive is part of the letting go process. Forgiveness doesn't come if anger has built walls around your heart.
4. Learning to forgive is extraordinarily difficult.
5. Trust goes against everything that society tells you to do.
6. The worst feeling in the world is feeling like you are a burden when your spirit is deeply hurting.
7. Giving of oneself is the best gift you could do for yourself.
8. I was a nerd in high school. And the first two years of college. Then I burned out.
9. "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." -Micah 7:7. My God will hear me. That is a promise.
10. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" -Galatians 5:6b. If you ever doubt a rule or a command or what you should do, recite this verse and ask yourself deep down is it faith being expressed in love or is it rebellion/anger/sadness/doubt?

I might type up some of my testimony and share it on here. Not all of it. But maybe some parts. We shall see.